A little bit clearer. ..

So the doctor did some blood work and I had an MRI done. Here's what been found outvso far.  My blood work has shown that my thyroid levels are high. The doctor wants me tovget my thyroid tested again in a few months. Then we'll see where we need to go from there. My MRI showed that my brain is to big for my skull. There's not really anything that can be done about. I pretty much just have to be careful out in the heat and I'm more prone to headaches.

Ernies been amazing while I've been dealing with this. I know he's concerned about what's going on. My dad of all people hurt me by what ge had to say when I told him what we've found out so far. He told me with my thyroid it would explain why I'm so fat. My thyroid can be controlled by meds. Thanks dad for making me feel like shit about myself once again. I find it pretty amazing that I'm the size I am with my thyroid levels high a lot of people are a lot bigger. I go on thyroid meds I'm goingvto lose weight. Ill never be a twig I wouldn't look good that tiny. I have to say it reallt bothers me I know it shouldn't.  It never fails tho what family says cuts the deepest.

Even stone can be worn down with enough rain

Some days are harder then others. Lately things are starting to get more difficult. You won't see me cry even though I'm right on the verge. I'll always have a smile on my face. I won't let anyone see my pain. I don't know what's going on with me right now. Other then the symptoms I've been having  getting dizzy when reaching above my head, my hands and feet going numb. I know we'll get it figured out. Between you and I...I'm afraid..... I'm scared. But I'm tough so no one on the outside well ever know. A little secret  between you and I sometimes at night I do let those fear tears fall. "Even stone can be worn down with enough rain."  I'm pushing threw. This stone is far from being worn out. I just have some ruff edges, and some cracks that need to be fixed.

The Wiccan depiction of the pentacle.

 THE FACTS:

*The pythagoreans viewed the pentacle as a symbol of mathematical perfection some time around 3000 BC. 

*Early CHRISTIANS used it to symbolize the 5 wounds of Jesus Christ. It is also used by CHRISTIANS to symbolize the five senses: smell, touch, taste, vision, and hearing. Don't believe me? Look it up!

*The Chinese use it to symbolize the health aspects: medicine, acupuncture, feng shui, and Taoism. Don't believe me? Look it up!

*In Arthurian Romance, it symbolized the five virtues Sir Gawain hoped to embody: noble generosity, fellowship, purity, courtesy, and compassion. Don't believe me? Look it up!

*The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Yes, the Mormons) began using both upright and inverted five-pointed stars in Temple architecture, dating from the Nauvoo Illinois Temple, which was dedicated on 30 April 1846. Other temples decorated with five-pointed stars in both orientations include the Salt Lake Temple, and the Logan Utah Temple. These symbols come from the symbolism found in Revelation Chapter 12, which says, "And there appeared a great wonder in heaven; a woman clothed with the sun, and the moon under her feet, and upon her head a crown of twelve stars." Don't believe me? Look it up!

*The Wiccans and Pagans use it to depict the elements (earth, air, fire, water) with the fifth point being spirit. The circle around it depicts unity, wholeness, infinity, the Goddess, or life. It is a holy symbol also used as a symbol of protection, a symbol of faith - identical to the cross, the star of David, the fish, the yin and yang, etc. Don't believe me? Look it up!

*** Now, with that being said, there are some satanists who use the inverted-pentagram (2 points up, one point down) as a symbol of their faith. (Notice I said pentagram, not pentacle!) This symbol is viewed as UPSIDE-DOWN compared all of the other symbold mentioned above. The one point up/ two points down symbol is referred to as a pentacle, with the inverted version refered to as a pentagram. Don't believe me? Look it up!

So, the next time someone criticizes, ridicules, chastizes, or otherwise attempts to accuse our beloved symbol of faith, point these facts out to them. If they don't believe you, tell them to LOOK IT UP!!!

☽O☾ 

New Year with a lot of new things to think about.

2012 was a busy year. We took guardianship over a 16 year old, thinking we could help her out. That was a joke there's no help for her.  2013 started out on a positive foot .We signed Amanda back over to her parents. I feel sorry for her mom. That child need military school. But we no longer have to deal with her except when she goes stalking by our house. If she was smart she would concentrate more on school then what we're doing over here. Looks like she's going to have to learn the hard way that high school dropout don't make it anywhere.

There's a lot of things going on. We're close having the living room finished, then we'll start working on the kitchen. In a few months we get to go real cool shopping for me I'm excited about that . Andrew's turning 8 on  Friday the 18th. Then going to grandma and papa's house for the weekend. Ernie and I have our 6 year wedding anniversary on the 19th.

Ernie told me that we need to start saving some money. Because in 2017 we're going to be renewing our vows. I'm really excited but I'm also nervous about it. I'm excited since we're actually going to have a wedding, but I'm nervous because we never actually had a wedding we just went to the courthouse. Just a lot to think about.....