It seems like just yesterday was April. I was just getting ready for school I can't believe I'm in my last month already. November has seemed to just sneak right up on me. It hasn't been easy that's for sure, but somehow we've manage to make it through. We've had a lot of ups and downs and gone through a mistake or two. The only thing you can ever do is learn from your mistakes. Ernie and I have to learn from our mistakes. We tried to help someone and got smacked in the face. But we learned that you can only help those who actually want help. It was a bump in the road that him and I had to overcome. Which we are in the process of doing, we're just looking at the future now. I'm in the process of looking for new jobs since I'll be a graduate at the end of the month. Then in the spring will get me a vehicle since I was a bone head and get rid of a really nice truck that I had. Then the next step is an actual house. One in which my whole family can be at the house. ( For those of you that don't know what I'm talking about we got a new park manager and she's telling me that I have to get rid of my dog so I friend of ours is going to watch her for the time being. ) Thank you again so much Debra for taking her in for us. This time of year is not an easy one for me.I struggle a lot with things that have happened in the past. I know I should "get over it " as some people say. It's not that easy when you go to something that traumatizing though. ( He would be 8 years old this year) It seems that this time of your always takes someone from the family. This year we lost Terry to cancer. I know I'm ready for things start turning around for once for the better. I'm tired of getting kicked when I'm already down. We work really hard and it seems like we can never just really catch a good break. I'm hoping our break is here finally. I guess we'll have to wait and see though.
Monday, November 5, 2012
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Reflections...
Recent events that have taken place, forced me to take some times to myself for some reflection. I noticed something that didn't really surprise me. But it makes a lot of sense.... to me anyhow.
Thoughout high school and actually my whole life I was pretty much a black wolf. I had friends, yes we hung out sometimes but really I kept to myself. I always did my own thing. I was always busy. Either with school, sports, work, or other activities in the community. For the most part I always around older adults not so much people my own age. Like I said before I was a black wolf I did a lot of things on my own. I really think I was better off that that way on most things. I didn't get dragged into the drama.
I'm a friendly person I get a long with everyone, I'll help anyone that needs help. I don't care about drama and I walk away from people who start it. I have better things to do with my time then worry about someones bullshit. It's one thing if your going thru somethingyou can't control (illness, death, other life issues) but it's clearly another when you bring it on yourself. People aren't stupid they can put little peices of information together and figure crap out. You can have all the smarts in the world and still do dumb shit on a daily bases.
I'm fed up with all this crap that has been going on. I'll always be there for my friends when they need me. I'm not going to put up with the bullshit of being told I said something I never said. Everyone has things they have to deal with in life. All of it happens for a reason. I dont think I'll ever fully understand why but it does.
As alot of you already know Ernie and I have lost three children. Our son Thomas J. Watson. November 12, 2003 I was 25 weeks along with him. We lost our twins when I was 10 weeks on November 30, 2007. In November of 2008 I lost my cousin that I was very close to in a hunting accident. He was more like a brother, since he lived with us when I was growing up for a while. November of last year I lost my grandpa. Which was really hard on me and I never really have delt with it yet. I know pain I know sadness. They are way to friendly with me. I'm over both of them.
Just remember your not the only one going thru hard times. Someone out there is worse off then you are. I know its hard to believe but its true. Don't go getting yourself into crap you can't handle. People well understand if you tell them its to much for you to take on with the things that are already going on in your life. If they can't understand that then their not worth being your friend in the first place.
Thoughout high school and actually my whole life I was pretty much a black wolf. I had friends, yes we hung out sometimes but really I kept to myself. I always did my own thing. I was always busy. Either with school, sports, work, or other activities in the community. For the most part I always around older adults not so much people my own age. Like I said before I was a black wolf I did a lot of things on my own. I really think I was better off that that way on most things. I didn't get dragged into the drama.
I'm a friendly person I get a long with everyone, I'll help anyone that needs help. I don't care about drama and I walk away from people who start it. I have better things to do with my time then worry about someones bullshit. It's one thing if your going thru somethingyou can't control (illness, death, other life issues) but it's clearly another when you bring it on yourself. People aren't stupid they can put little peices of information together and figure crap out. You can have all the smarts in the world and still do dumb shit on a daily bases.
I'm fed up with all this crap that has been going on. I'll always be there for my friends when they need me. I'm not going to put up with the bullshit of being told I said something I never said. Everyone has things they have to deal with in life. All of it happens for a reason. I dont think I'll ever fully understand why but it does.
As alot of you already know Ernie and I have lost three children. Our son Thomas J. Watson. November 12, 2003 I was 25 weeks along with him. We lost our twins when I was 10 weeks on November 30, 2007. In November of 2008 I lost my cousin that I was very close to in a hunting accident. He was more like a brother, since he lived with us when I was growing up for a while. November of last year I lost my grandpa. Which was really hard on me and I never really have delt with it yet. I know pain I know sadness. They are way to friendly with me. I'm over both of them.
Just remember your not the only one going thru hard times. Someone out there is worse off then you are. I know its hard to believe but its true. Don't go getting yourself into crap you can't handle. People well understand if you tell them its to much for you to take on with the things that are already going on in your life. If they can't understand that then their not worth being your friend in the first place.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Full house and Busy busy busy......
I know I need to stay up on on my blogs more offen. A few things have happened, all of which Ernie and I knew and were waiting for.
Ernie and I have full guardianship over Amanda as of July 5,2012. I have to say its the best thing that could have ever happen to her. (so people think its the worst decision she ever made) But like I told Amanda she was very wise Ernie and I well make sure she gets the education she needs. But Ernie and I are having her work on her grades they are very poor right now. She's getting on the right track now tho, so she should be graduating with her class.
Andrew and Elizabeth love having Amanda around. Their both doing very well. They're driving me nuts but I guess thats their job. *sigh*Andrew starts second grade this year. He's really excided. Just have to wait till elizabeth can go.
I only have a few more months then I'll be done with school. I have a 3.29 gpa Which is pretty good I think. This month my arms have been poked a lot were doing blood draws so my arms are all brused and have needle marks. But I'm doing pretty well I get all my blood draws for the most part. It's a rush. Today in class we got to play with blood clots. It was so much fun. I can't wait to get to do it tomorrow.
Ernie and I have full guardianship over Amanda as of July 5,2012. I have to say its the best thing that could have ever happen to her. (so people think its the worst decision she ever made) But like I told Amanda she was very wise Ernie and I well make sure she gets the education she needs. But Ernie and I are having her work on her grades they are very poor right now. She's getting on the right track now tho, so she should be graduating with her class.
Andrew and Elizabeth love having Amanda around. Their both doing very well. They're driving me nuts but I guess thats their job. *sigh*Andrew starts second grade this year. He's really excided. Just have to wait till elizabeth can go.
I only have a few more months then I'll be done with school. I have a 3.29 gpa Which is pretty good I think. This month my arms have been poked a lot were doing blood draws so my arms are all brused and have needle marks. But I'm doing pretty well I get all my blood draws for the most part. It's a rush. Today in class we got to play with blood clots. It was so much fun. I can't wait to get to do it tomorrow.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
School the Triple A's and the double E's
So it's been about a month or almost two since I let you into whats going on around me. Boy oh boy where do or should I start?? I'll keep it simple and start were I left off in my last post.
School~
So the meeting with Ross Medical went very well. I am a full time student. Monday thru Friday 8:15a.m. to 12:45p.m. I'm almost done with my first mod next week is my last week, then we move on to another one. so far I've had all A's or B's on my work/ test. except one test I got a C's on. Which I was so mad about, I'm still really mad about it. I can deal with B's I would rather have all A's but if I can't have an A I want B's. C's are not acceptable. Not for as much as I'm paying for my classes anyhow. But enough about school for now.
Work~
Work still sucks. I mean come on its a stupid gas station. I get my crap done but the boss is never and I mean never happy. She bitches about everything. I get certain customers that like clock work their in there every night about the same time which of course we talk. I can't help that my customers love me. Of course she bitches about it. The said thing is I run circles around her. She's a shitty boss anyhow, she'll run her mouth to everyone else in the store and wont say a thing to me about whatever wasn't done or whatever the problem is. I always hear it from everyone else and I always tell them the same thing. I'll believe it when she actually acts like a manager and has the balls to tell me to my face. Which well never happen cause she knows I can call her out on a bunch of shit to. She'll lose that battle.
Family~
As if you couldn't tell from my post on facebook already, Ernie and I are adopting Amanda. She needs to have parents that actually care about her and will teacher her the things that she needs to know for the real world. Not sitting there and yell at her for every little thing she does. What do you know... we somehow find time to help her with her school work, so she can actually get her grades up.
( Some people shouldn't have the right to have kids. The sad thing is her mom actually just kicked her out of the house then went all childish and removed her from facebook. She didn't even wish her Happy Birthday on her 16th birthday. That is what I call a shitty parent. No matter how mad you are at your child you shouldn't cut off all ties. I still can't figure out why she would say Amanda's so bad. Ya I have to get after her every once in a while but she's a normal teenager. I feel bad for the other two kids in that house, but then if the kids were actually disciplined they wouldn't be so horrible acting. But her reason for everything is that they have autism. Hate to break this to her but my cousin has serve autism. All those two kids need are rules that are actually enforced as well as punishments.) Sorry went off on a rant....
Andrew and Elizabeth are doing really good. Elizabeth's pretty much fully potty trained andrew's almost done with 1st grade. But our families growing by one more. :) Ernie and I are doing really good just really busy. Between school and work and filling out all the paper work that needs to be filled out it seems we're always on the run.
School~
So the meeting with Ross Medical went very well. I am a full time student. Monday thru Friday 8:15a.m. to 12:45p.m. I'm almost done with my first mod next week is my last week, then we move on to another one. so far I've had all A's or B's on my work/ test. except one test I got a C's on. Which I was so mad about, I'm still really mad about it. I can deal with B's I would rather have all A's but if I can't have an A I want B's. C's are not acceptable. Not for as much as I'm paying for my classes anyhow. But enough about school for now.
Work~
Work still sucks. I mean come on its a stupid gas station. I get my crap done but the boss is never and I mean never happy. She bitches about everything. I get certain customers that like clock work their in there every night about the same time which of course we talk. I can't help that my customers love me. Of course she bitches about it. The said thing is I run circles around her. She's a shitty boss anyhow, she'll run her mouth to everyone else in the store and wont say a thing to me about whatever wasn't done or whatever the problem is. I always hear it from everyone else and I always tell them the same thing. I'll believe it when she actually acts like a manager and has the balls to tell me to my face. Which well never happen cause she knows I can call her out on a bunch of shit to. She'll lose that battle.
Family~
As if you couldn't tell from my post on facebook already, Ernie and I are adopting Amanda. She needs to have parents that actually care about her and will teacher her the things that she needs to know for the real world. Not sitting there and yell at her for every little thing she does. What do you know... we somehow find time to help her with her school work, so she can actually get her grades up.
( Some people shouldn't have the right to have kids. The sad thing is her mom actually just kicked her out of the house then went all childish and removed her from facebook. She didn't even wish her Happy Birthday on her 16th birthday. That is what I call a shitty parent. No matter how mad you are at your child you shouldn't cut off all ties. I still can't figure out why she would say Amanda's so bad. Ya I have to get after her every once in a while but she's a normal teenager. I feel bad for the other two kids in that house, but then if the kids were actually disciplined they wouldn't be so horrible acting. But her reason for everything is that they have autism. Hate to break this to her but my cousin has serve autism. All those two kids need are rules that are actually enforced as well as punishments.) Sorry went off on a rant....
Andrew and Elizabeth are doing really good. Elizabeth's pretty much fully potty trained andrew's almost done with 1st grade. But our families growing by one more. :) Ernie and I are doing really good just really busy. Between school and work and filling out all the paper work that needs to be filled out it seems we're always on the run.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
New Changes
The last two days have been extremely busy. Monday I had an appointment at 8:15a.m. with Ross Medical School, I had Ernie go with me. Things couldn't have went better. It amazes me how perfect of a fit that school actually is. Which made it even easier for me to decided that that's where i wanted to go. With that decision made Ernie and I went back today and filled out the finical aid paperwork. I'm taking the Medical Assistant course. It's a 7 month course, I start Monday April 30, 2012 and I will be graduating Thursday November 29, 2012. Fast pace but it's what i need its pretty much all hands on, which is even better. So I'm already on the right track to a better life, I have tons of support. I qualified for the max of every loan which was a nice relief. So now its just time for me to take a little breather until school starts. *sigh*
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Spring?
Spring is a time for everything to wake up and the prefect time for a fresh new start. Sometimes this can be a tricky thing to balance. New things require patience, time, and a lot of attention depending on what the object is.(kinda sound like a woman doesn't it? lol) But anything that grows needs these things. Michigan springs make this even more difficult. Anyone that lives in Michigan knows what I'm talking about. If you don't I'll explain. Living in Michigan you learn that you always keep a coat or blanket in your vehicle. Just because it's 80 and sunny when you leave the house in the morning doesn't mean it's not going to be 25 and snowing when you leave. (I think you get the point now).
This year I've been really busy already. I have two roses planted some flowers and vegetables. Which I'm starting to think I might have lost the ones in the pots because of all the rain we just got. So it's back to the drawing board. That's if i can't save them i am going to try tho. I still have a lot that I do need to plant I should be out there today maybe I'll go out a little later. I've already mowed the lawn twice this year. The yard still needs a little work. Mainly in front of the house and around the deck. But I am very pleased with how things are coming along.
Just like the yard the inside of the house is slowly coming along as well. About a week ago Ernie mounted the t.v. to the wall and put the shelf up. It looks really nice. There still are a few things that need to be done like the drywall on the outside walls but it'll happen in time. cause then there's painting and we're going to get those cord covers so there's not cords all over the wall like there is now. We have more done then what I figured we would. For only being here for 6 months we have a lot more then what I figured. But I'm not complaining at all it's nice.
Another thing about spring besides all the new and fresh things. Elizabeth is going to be 3. Can you believe it my little baby girl is going to be 3 in 10 days. Didn't we just bring her home? It feels like it. She's getting the potty training thing she's not doing to bad with it now. Of course an accident here and there. But now how to make it special for her??
Somethings been sitting very heavy on my mind. Ernie and I talking about it last night and I know he'll help me out and support me. I know I have friends that well also support me. Right now I know I have a dead end job. But it's money coming in which is better then nothing. I'm toying with the idea of going to school. It's scares the ever loving shit out of me. It really does. I know I can do it. I just have to decided what area I want. So if I seem like I'm out of it or scatter brained that's why my minds going in a million different directions. I'm gonna be 28 in 5 months and i need to do something already.
When I was working for Renaissance I enjoyed my work I just hated the people I worked with. A bunch or children that didn't give to shits about the work they had to do and I get fired. Fuck them! (sorry if you cant tell I have a grudge with that company). Ernie did call me out on that holding me back from doing what I really want to do. He's right i was letting it effect me. Time to find that game face again. Guess I'm going to find out who my real friends are. I have an idea of the ones that well keep pushing me. I want to say Thank you now *hugs*
This year I've been really busy already. I have two roses planted some flowers and vegetables. Which I'm starting to think I might have lost the ones in the pots because of all the rain we just got. So it's back to the drawing board. That's if i can't save them i am going to try tho. I still have a lot that I do need to plant I should be out there today maybe I'll go out a little later. I've already mowed the lawn twice this year. The yard still needs a little work. Mainly in front of the house and around the deck. But I am very pleased with how things are coming along.
Just like the yard the inside of the house is slowly coming along as well. About a week ago Ernie mounted the t.v. to the wall and put the shelf up. It looks really nice. There still are a few things that need to be done like the drywall on the outside walls but it'll happen in time. cause then there's painting and we're going to get those cord covers so there's not cords all over the wall like there is now. We have more done then what I figured we would. For only being here for 6 months we have a lot more then what I figured. But I'm not complaining at all it's nice.
Another thing about spring besides all the new and fresh things. Elizabeth is going to be 3. Can you believe it my little baby girl is going to be 3 in 10 days. Didn't we just bring her home? It feels like it. She's getting the potty training thing she's not doing to bad with it now. Of course an accident here and there. But now how to make it special for her??
Somethings been sitting very heavy on my mind. Ernie and I talking about it last night and I know he'll help me out and support me. I know I have friends that well also support me. Right now I know I have a dead end job. But it's money coming in which is better then nothing. I'm toying with the idea of going to school. It's scares the ever loving shit out of me. It really does. I know I can do it. I just have to decided what area I want. So if I seem like I'm out of it or scatter brained that's why my minds going in a million different directions. I'm gonna be 28 in 5 months and i need to do something already.
When I was working for Renaissance I enjoyed my work I just hated the people I worked with. A bunch or children that didn't give to shits about the work they had to do and I get fired. Fuck them! (sorry if you cant tell I have a grudge with that company). Ernie did call me out on that holding me back from doing what I really want to do. He's right i was letting it effect me. Time to find that game face again. Guess I'm going to find out who my real friends are. I have an idea of the ones that well keep pushing me. I want to say Thank you now *hugs*
Thursday, February 16, 2012
*Sigh*
I don't know really where to start There's a lot and I mean a lot going on... I know its been for ever since I've typed anything. Losing Grandpa (my dad's dad) really took its toll on me. Then I found out not long after that my grandma (my mom's mom) was in the hospital It took a little while but they figure out what was wrong with her. She has Bullous Pemphigoid so mom and dad are moving her in with them now, So they can keep a closer eye on her.
This goes without saying but with a heavy heart I decided that its time to sell my truck. I don't regret deciding that this is the best choice since it is just way to small. I can say that I am going to miss the hell out of it tho. It was either keep my truck and sell the car or sell the car and keep my truck. The smart choice is to keep the car. It has more room in it so it only makes sense. Plus we won't be without a truck since Ernie's going to be buying on this year. But the money I get from selling the truck is going to go into the little work the car needs then the left over money maybe I'll get a tattoo or two. I'll just have to wait and see.....
On another note... This weekend is an exciting one!!!! Amanda's winterfest this this Saturday! I can't wait to see her all dressed up it's going to be so much fun. (Yes I'm going to take a lot of pictures!!) The dress looks so nice on her. She's such a good kid, I love having her around. Some people just can't seem to understand that she just 15 she needs to be able to be a teenager and this is just one of those teenager things. Friday after she gets out of school her and I have to go up and pick up some last minute things. Then mess around with her hair a bit.
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