When a tear runs down my cheek

When a tear runs down my cheek it doesn't always mean that I'm sad or grieving. 

When a tear runs down my cheek it's the build up of pain leaving my body. You see the pain can only stay for so long before it has to leave to make room for new more intense pain.

When a tear runs down my cheek it holds hours of pain that I've pushed through with a fake smile on my face. (Looking "normal") So that no one knows my real pain. I was always told "Pain is just weakness leaving the body." I should be invincible by now.

When a tear runs down my cheek don't be surprised if you never see it. If you do consider yourself very special.  I only open myself up like that to people I feel safe with and I feel I can trust being vulnerable around.

When a tear runs down my cheek I am not broken.  Even though I might feel that way. I'm stronger then what I was 5 minutes ago.

When a tear runs down my cheek it may be from the judgemental pricks. That think chiari malformation can be cured by surgery.  (It CAN'T! !  If it could and it was 100% effective, then I would consider it but im not going to have anyone cut into my head for something that might or might not work)

A tear ran down my cheek today. In fact it was more like 6 or 8. Through the pain I still put on a smile like nothings wrong.

What the hell is wrong with people

A teen on my facebook posted this today:

If anyone tries to nominate me for that stupid ice bucket thing I will refuse. I'm not stupid. It's a stupid way to help ALS. And it just seems like a freaking popularity contest. No thanks. I'll leave the idiocy to other people and do my own thing for ALS.

So I posted my opinion:

1.)For every one person that just does the challenge because they dont have $100.00 they can hand over theirs an average of 10 people that donate $100.00 or more. Just being educated and spreading awareness on it is helping the cause. I dont have ALS but I do have a rare incurable brain (chiari malformation) disease I cant afford to donate money so I spread awareness.

2.) Just think im pretty sure you still do fund raisers for school things with trips, band, football, cheerleading, etc. If people all the people that have help you with your fund raisers felt the same way you do about this one you wouldnt have the money you need to do things. The HUGE difference between your fund raiser and this one is either way they're still making a profit. Spreading awareness on an illness/disease is not an easy task so if anything they are educating people and people are talking about ALS. If they cheat and use warm water thats on them. Heck I cant even do the chiari malformation challenge. Whoever though it up figured only family members and friends would do it. I can drink the slurpee thats about it. Talk about doing something halfasses. Lol

3.) Just an fyi: 
You can't get hypothermia from dumping ice water over your head.

Also a question:
If you hate so many people why not defriend them?

Advice:
Education is key!!

Really?? I get this in my inbox? (From her dad none the less) Thats great that their donating but like his daughter i posted my opinion on her status about ALS. I never once degraded her. If you took my "education is key" as me being degrading then you should be ashamed of yourself.  Education is key in any illness or disease. Yes some people have sensitivity to cold I sure those people dont purposely do this challenge knowing that. There was also something said about football coach's having problems from the ice water. HELLO its not exactly football season out its 80 degrees out a bucket of cold water isnt going to hurt you! Once again I *shake my head at people*
Heres what he sent:

  I don't have you as a friend on FB but I think you should take you comments off (teens name here) wall now!!!! she and I can afford to donate money that's better then the bucket challenge.. you have no right putting you bullshit on her wall!!!!!

Once again its great your donating to an amazing cause.  With that said your daughter should have maybe worded her status better? Its clear she was looking for drama calling people stupid, assholes, and idiots. Now your trying to bully me into removing my opinion.  Since its not the same as yours? You should be ashamed of yourself!!!

But she whines and crys about drama and not having a lot of friends?? No wonder who would want to be friends with someone that calls you stupid,  asshole, or an idiot because you have a different opinion from them?

Surprised

I have to say I'm kinda surprised but its nice at the same time. Ernie's starting to get back into golf. The only game system we have in the house is the ps2 and the original xbox. Neither one get messed with very much either. I'm not complaining tho. I'm not surprised so much about Ernie but the fact that both Andrew and Elizabeth love it. It's nice the three of them get into something together like that. what about me you ask? No Thank you. So I'll go to mini golf where it's all fun and games, but I want nothing to do with actual golf. Plus it's good that Ernie and the kids have something for just them to do together. It's nice that Andrew's actually getting into something. We've been trying, for a while I thought maybe baseball but I was dead wrong. This golf thing tho that's a different story. We go into the sports store he goes over right away checking out clubs and looking at stuff. Elizabeth's doing the same thing. I could be wrong but I'm pretty sure Ernie and I are going to be getting the kids golf stuff for Christmas. I know Andrew was pretty disappointed tonight when he found out Ernie was going out golfing right after work with some co-workers. Ernie and I both explained to him that dad's actually playing a game in the morning not just hitting balls. It seems Ernie's gonna have to take these kids out soon lol.

Challenges

So lately there have been all these post on Facebook about people doing this ALS challenge, which is you donate $100.00 to the cause or you dump a bucket of ice water over your head. Some people are even making their own challenges so far my favorite one has to be the guy with the pull up your pants challenge. Just recently I seen one that was posted for Chiari Malformation which as many of you know is what I have. I can't do this. Unfortunately it seems this challenge wasn't thought of by someone that actually has chiari. Spinning 5 times I would be laying on my back on the floor if I even made it to 5. If I did happen to make it to 5 inducing a brain freeze would be torture. The challenge is a great if you can get a family member or friend to do it. Which even in the video the lady is doing it for her son. I really wish I could do it but the problems it would cause I just can't. I would do the bucket of ice water challenge for ALS. Really it's the whole spinning thing with the chiari. My head spins enough without me adding to it.

On going dream started February 3 2014 to present.

Im out in a field on a beautiful sunny day im sitting under a big willow tree on the roots as my toes soak in the creek that runs along the side of the tree. My hair is lightly blowing in the warm breeze. And im wearing a ivory colored dress. Butterflies and dragonflies flutter by to the forget me nots and lily of the valley's growing wild along the bank of the creek, while birds chirp and sing their songs in the trees. A huge pure white mare and her midnight black filly both with crystal blue eyes and rippling muscles graze close by close to the creek. The smell of crisp apples and burning wood fill the air. I step into the creek and slowly take steps toward the two massive animals.

A little bit clearer. ..

So the doctor did some blood work and I had an MRI done. Here's what been found outvso far.  My blood work has shown that my thyroid levels are high. The doctor wants me tovget my thyroid tested again in a few months. Then we'll see where we need to go from there. My MRI showed that my brain is to big for my skull. There's not really anything that can be done about. I pretty much just have to be careful out in the heat and I'm more prone to headaches.

Ernies been amazing while I've been dealing with this. I know he's concerned about what's going on. My dad of all people hurt me by what ge had to say when I told him what we've found out so far. He told me with my thyroid it would explain why I'm so fat. My thyroid can be controlled by meds. Thanks dad for making me feel like shit about myself once again. I find it pretty amazing that I'm the size I am with my thyroid levels high a lot of people are a lot bigger. I go on thyroid meds I'm goingvto lose weight. Ill never be a twig I wouldn't look good that tiny. I have to say it reallt bothers me I know it shouldn't.  It never fails tho what family says cuts the deepest.

Even stone can be worn down with enough rain

Some days are harder then others. Lately things are starting to get more difficult. You won't see me cry even though I'm right on the verge. I'll always have a smile on my face. I won't let anyone see my pain. I don't know what's going on with me right now. Other then the symptoms I've been having  getting dizzy when reaching above my head, my hands and feet going numb. I know we'll get it figured out. Between you and I...I'm afraid..... I'm scared. But I'm tough so no one on the outside well ever know. A little secret  between you and I sometimes at night I do let those fear tears fall. "Even stone can be worn down with enough rain."  I'm pushing threw. This stone is far from being worn out. I just have some ruff edges, and some cracks that need to be fixed.

The Wiccan depiction of the pentacle.

 THE FACTS:

*The pythagoreans viewed the pentacle as a symbol of mathematical perfection some time around 3000 BC. 

*Early CHRISTIANS used it to symbolize the 5 wounds of Jesus Christ. It is also used by CHRISTIANS to symbolize the five senses: smell, touch, taste, vision, and hearing. Don't believe me? Look it up!

*The Chinese use it to symbolize the health aspects: medicine, acupuncture, feng shui, and Taoism. Don't believe me? Look it up!

*In Arthurian Romance, it symbolized the five virtues Sir Gawain hoped to embody: noble generosity, fellowship, purity, courtesy, and compassion. Don't believe me? Look it up!

*The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Yes, the Mormons) began using both upright and inverted five-pointed stars in Temple architecture, dating from the Nauvoo Illinois Temple, which was dedicated on 30 April 1846. Other temples decorated with five-pointed stars in both orientations include the Salt Lake Temple, and the Logan Utah Temple. These symbols come from the symbolism found in Revelation Chapter 12, which says, "And there appeared a great wonder in heaven; a woman clothed with the sun, and the moon under her feet, and upon her head a crown of twelve stars." Don't believe me? Look it up!

*The Wiccans and Pagans use it to depict the elements (earth, air, fire, water) with the fifth point being spirit. The circle around it depicts unity, wholeness, infinity, the Goddess, or life. It is a holy symbol also used as a symbol of protection, a symbol of faith - identical to the cross, the star of David, the fish, the yin and yang, etc. Don't believe me? Look it up!

*** Now, with that being said, there are some satanists who use the inverted-pentagram (2 points up, one point down) as a symbol of their faith. (Notice I said pentagram, not pentacle!) This symbol is viewed as UPSIDE-DOWN compared all of the other symbold mentioned above. The one point up/ two points down symbol is referred to as a pentacle, with the inverted version refered to as a pentagram. Don't believe me? Look it up!

So, the next time someone criticizes, ridicules, chastizes, or otherwise attempts to accuse our beloved symbol of faith, point these facts out to them. If they don't believe you, tell them to LOOK IT UP!!!

☽O☾ 

New Year with a lot of new things to think about.

2012 was a busy year. We took guardianship over a 16 year old, thinking we could help her out. That was a joke there's no help for her.  2013 started out on a positive foot .We signed Amanda back over to her parents. I feel sorry for her mom. That child need military school. But we no longer have to deal with her except when she goes stalking by our house. If she was smart she would concentrate more on school then what we're doing over here. Looks like she's going to have to learn the hard way that high school dropout don't make it anywhere.

There's a lot of things going on. We're close having the living room finished, then we'll start working on the kitchen. In a few months we get to go real cool shopping for me I'm excited about that . Andrew's turning 8 on  Friday the 18th. Then going to grandma and papa's house for the weekend. Ernie and I have our 6 year wedding anniversary on the 19th.

Ernie told me that we need to start saving some money. Because in 2017 we're going to be renewing our vows. I'm really excited but I'm also nervous about it. I'm excited since we're actually going to have a wedding, but I'm nervous because we never actually had a wedding we just went to the courthouse. Just a lot to think about.....

I can't believe its November already !!!

It seems like just yesterday was April. I was just getting ready for school I can't believe I'm in my last month already. November has seemed to just sneak right up on me. It hasn't been easy that's for sure, but somehow we've manage to make it through. We've had a lot of ups and downs and gone through a mistake or two. The only thing you can ever do is learn from your mistakes. Ernie and I have to learn from our mistakes. We tried to help someone and got smacked in the face. But we learned that you can only help those who actually want help. It was a bump in the road that him and I had to overcome. Which we are in the process of doing, we're just looking at the future now. I'm in the process of looking for new jobs since I'll be a graduate at the end of the month. Then in the spring will get me a vehicle since I was a bone head and get rid of a really nice truck that I had. Then the next step is an actual house. One in which my whole family can be at the house. ( For those of you that don't know what I'm talking about we got a new park manager and she's telling me that I have to get rid of my dog so I friend of ours is going to watch her for the time being. ) Thank you again so much Debra for taking her in for us. This time of year is not an easy one for me.I struggle a lot with things that have happened in the past. I know I should "get over it " as some people say. It's not that easy when you go to something that traumatizing though. ( He would be 8 years old this year) It seems that this time of your always takes someone from the family. This year we lost Terry to cancer. I know I'm ready for things start turning around for once for the better. I'm tired of getting kicked when I'm already down. We work really hard and it seems like we can never just really catch a good break. I'm hoping our break is here finally. I guess we'll have to wait and see though. 

Reflections...

Recent events that have taken place, forced me to take some times to myself for some reflection. I noticed something that didn't really surprise me. But it makes a lot of sense.... to me anyhow.

Thoughout high school and actually my whole life I was pretty much a black wolf. I had friends, yes we hung out sometimes but really I kept to myself. I always did my own thing. I was always busy. Either with school, sports, work, or other activities in the community. For the most part I always around older adults not so much people my own age. Like I said before I was a black wolf I did a lot of things on my own. I really think I was better off that that way on most things. I didn't get dragged into the drama.

I'm a friendly person I get a long with everyone, I'll help anyone that needs help. I don't care about drama and I walk away from people who start it. I have better things to do with my time then worry about someones bullshit. It's one thing if your going thru somethingyou can't control (illness, death, other life issues) but it's clearly another when you bring it on yourself. People aren't stupid they can put little peices of information together and figure crap out. You can have all the smarts in the world and still do dumb shit on a daily bases.

I'm fed up with all this crap that has been going on. I'll always be there for my friends when they need me. I'm not going to put up with the bullshit of being told I said something I  never said. Everyone has things they have to deal with in life. All of it happens for a reason. I dont think I'll ever fully understand why but it does.

As alot of you already know Ernie and I have lost three children. Our son Thomas J. Watson. November 12, 2003 I was 25 weeks along with him. We lost our twins when I was 10 weeks on November 30, 2007. In November of 2008 I lost my cousin that I was very close to in a hunting accident. He was more like a brother, since he lived with us when I was growing up for a while. November of last year I lost my grandpa. Which was really hard on me and I never really have delt with it yet. I know pain I know sadness. They are way to friendly with me. I'm over both of them.

Just remember your not the only one going thru hard times. Someone out there is worse off then you are. I know its hard to believe but its true. Don't go getting yourself into crap you can't handle. People well understand if you tell them its to much for you to take on with the things that are already going on in your life. If they can't understand that then their not worth being your friend in the first place.

Full house and Busy busy busy......

I know I need to stay up on on my blogs more offen. A few things have happened, all of which Ernie and I knew and were waiting for.

Ernie and I have full guardianship over Amanda as of July 5,2012. I have to say its the best thing that could have ever happen to her. (so people think its the worst decision she ever made) But like I told Amanda she was very wise Ernie and I well make sure she gets the education she needs. But Ernie and I are having her work on her grades they are very poor right now. She's getting on the right track now tho, so she should be graduating with her class.

Andrew and Elizabeth love having Amanda around. Their both doing very well. They're driving me nuts but I guess thats their job. *sigh*Andrew starts second grade this year. He's really excided. Just have to wait till elizabeth can go.

I only have a few more months then I'll be done with school. I have a 3.29 gpa Which is pretty good I think. This month my arms have been poked a lot were doing blood draws so my arms are all brused and have needle marks. But I'm doing pretty well I get all my blood draws for the most part. It's a rush. Today in class we got to play with blood clots. It was so much fun. I can't wait to get to do it tomorrow.

 

School the Triple A's and the double E's

So it's been about a month or almost two since I let you into whats going on around me. Boy oh boy where do or should I start?? I'll keep it simple and start were I left off in my last post.

School~

So the meeting with Ross Medical went very well. I am a full time student. Monday thru Friday 8:15a.m. to 12:45p.m. I'm almost done with my first mod next week is my last week, then we move on to another one. so far I've had all A's or B's on my work/ test. except one test I got a C's on. Which I was so mad about, I'm still really mad about it. I can deal with B's I would rather have all A's but if I can't have an A I want B's. C's are not acceptable. Not for as much as I'm paying for my classes anyhow. But enough about school for now.

Work~

Work still sucks. I mean come on its a stupid gas station. I get my crap done but the boss is never and I mean never happy. She bitches about everything. I get certain customers that like clock work their in there every night about the same time which of course we talk. I can't help that my customers love me. Of course she bitches about it. The said thing is I run circles around her. She's a shitty boss anyhow, she'll run her mouth to everyone else in the store and wont say a thing to me about whatever wasn't done or whatever the problem is. I always hear it from everyone else and I always tell them the same thing. I'll believe it when she actually acts like a manager and has the balls to tell me to my face. Which well never happen cause she knows I can call her out on a bunch of shit to. She'll lose that battle. 

Family~ 

As if you couldn't tell from my post on facebook already, Ernie and I are adopting Amanda. She needs to have parents that actually care about her and will teacher her the things that she needs to know for the real world. Not sitting there and yell at her for every little thing she does. What do you know... we somehow find time to help her with her school work, so she can actually get her grades up.

( Some people shouldn't have the right to have kids. The sad thing is her mom actually just kicked her out of the house then went all childish and removed her from facebook. She didn't even wish her Happy Birthday on her 16th birthday. That is what I call a shitty parent. No matter how mad you are at your child you shouldn't cut off all ties. I still can't figure out why she would say Amanda's so bad. Ya I have to get after her every once in a while but she's a normal teenager. I feel bad for the other two kids in that house, but then if the kids were actually disciplined they wouldn't be so horrible acting. But her reason for everything is that they have autism. Hate to break this to her but my cousin has serve autism. All those two kids need are rules that are actually enforced as well as punishments.) Sorry went off on a rant....

Andrew and Elizabeth are doing really good. Elizabeth's pretty much fully potty trained andrew's almost done with 1st grade. But our families growing by one more. :) Ernie and I are doing really good just really busy. Between school and work and filling out all the paper work that needs to be filled out it seems we're always on the run.

New Changes

The last two days have been extremely busy. Monday I had an appointment at 8:15a.m. with Ross Medical School, I had Ernie go with me. Things couldn't have went better. It amazes me how perfect of a fit that school actually is. Which made it even easier for me to decided that that's where i wanted to go. With that decision made Ernie and I went back today and filled out the finical aid paperwork. I'm taking the Medical Assistant course. It's a 7 month course, I start Monday April 30, 2012 and I will be graduating Thursday November 29, 2012. Fast pace but it's what i need its pretty much all hands on, which is even better. So I'm already on the right track to a better life, I have tons of support. I qualified for the max of every loan which was a nice relief. So now its just time for me to take a little breather until school starts. *sigh*

Spring?

Spring is a time for everything to wake up and the prefect time for a fresh new start. Sometimes this can be a tricky thing to balance. New things require patience, time, and a lot of attention depending on what the object is.(kinda sound like a woman doesn't it? lol) But anything that grows needs these things. Michigan springs make this even more difficult. Anyone that lives in Michigan knows what I'm talking about. If you don't I'll explain. Living in Michigan you learn that you always keep a coat or blanket in your vehicle. Just because it's 80 and sunny when you leave the house in the morning doesn't mean it's not going to be 25 and snowing when you leave. (I think you get the point now).

This year I've been really busy already. I have two roses planted some flowers and vegetables. Which I'm starting to think I might have lost the ones in the pots because of all the rain we just got. So it's back to the drawing board. That's if i can't save them i am going to try tho. I still have a lot that I do need to plant I should be out there today maybe I'll go out a little later. I've already mowed the lawn twice this year. The yard still needs a little work. Mainly in front of the house and around the deck. But I am very pleased with how things are coming along.

Just like the yard the inside of the house is slowly coming along as well. About a week ago Ernie mounted the t.v. to the wall and put the shelf up. It looks really nice. There still are a few things that need to be done like the drywall on the outside walls but it'll happen in time. cause then there's painting and we're going to get those cord covers so there's not cords all over the wall like there is now. We have more done then what I figured we would. For only being here for 6 months we have a lot more then what I figured. But I'm not complaining at all it's nice.

Another thing about spring besides all the new and fresh things. Elizabeth is going to be 3. Can you believe it my little baby girl is going to be 3 in 10 days. Didn't we just bring her home? It feels like it. She's getting the potty training thing she's not doing to bad with it now. Of course an accident here and there. But now how to make it special for her??

Somethings been sitting very heavy on my mind. Ernie and I talking about it last night and I know he'll help me out and support me. I know I have friends that well also support me. Right now I know I have a dead end job. But it's money coming in which is better then nothing. I'm toying with the idea of going to school. It's scares the ever loving shit out of me. It really does. I know I can do it. I just have to decided what area I want. So if I seem like I'm out of it or scatter brained that's why my minds going in a million different directions. I'm gonna be 28 in 5 months and i need to do something already.

When I was working for Renaissance I enjoyed my work I just hated the people I worked with. A bunch or children that didn't give to shits about the work they had to do and I get fired. Fuck them! (sorry if you cant tell I have a grudge with that company). Ernie did call me out on that holding me back from doing what I really want to do. He's right i was letting it effect me. Time to find that game face again. Guess I'm going to find out who my real friends are. I have an idea of the ones that well keep pushing me. I want to say Thank you now *hugs*

*Sigh*

I don't know really where to start There's a lot and I mean a lot going on... I know its been for ever since I've typed anything. Losing Grandpa (my dad's dad) really took its toll on me. Then I found out not long after that my grandma (my mom's mom) was in the hospital It took a little while but they figure out what was wrong with her. She has Bullous Pemphigoid so mom and dad are moving her in with them now, So they can keep a closer eye on her.

This goes without saying but with a heavy heart I decided that its time to sell my truck. I don't regret deciding that this is the best choice since it is just way to small. I can say that I am going to miss the hell out of it tho. It was either keep my truck and sell the car or sell the car and keep my truck. The smart choice is to keep the car. It has more room in it so it only makes sense. Plus we won't be without a truck since Ernie's going to be buying on this year. But the money I get from selling the truck is going to go into the little work the car needs then the left over money maybe I'll get a tattoo or two. I'll just have to wait and see.....

On another note... This weekend is an exciting one!!!! Amanda's winterfest this this Saturday! I can't wait to see her all dressed up it's going to be so much fun. (Yes I'm going to take a lot of pictures!!) The dress looks so nice on her. She's such a good kid, I love having her around. Some people just can't seem to understand that she just 15 she needs to be able to be a teenager and this is just one of those teenager things. Friday after she gets out of school her and I have to go up and pick up some last minute things. Then mess around with her hair a bit.

I love you grandpa

Obituary for Mr. Russell Vernon Thiel

Of Caro, age 88, died Tuesday, November 22, 2011 at Covenant Harrison in Saginaw. Cremation has taken place. The memorial service will take place, 1:00 pm, Wednesday, November 30, 2011, at the Martin Funeral Home in Vassar. Pastor David Burkett will officiate. Family will receive friends at the Martin Funeral Home on Wednesday, from 12:00 noon until time of service at 1:00 pm. Memorial donations may be considered to the American Cancer Society. Envelopes are available at the funeral home.

Russell was born September 24, 1923, in Flint, Michigan, the son of Anthony and Grace (Ives) Thiel. Russell and Betty Jane Morris were united in marriage June 5, 1948. Russell proudly served his country in the United States Navy, during World War II.

He worked for Buick for 33 years, before retiring in 1980. He was a member of the UAW #599. Russell enjoyed spending time with his family, traveling and camping. He was active in a variety of sports, including boxing, football and golf.

Left to cherish his memory is his wife of 63 years, Betty Jane; four children, Pam and husband, Russ Radke, Debbie and husband, Ray Wruble, Jill and husband, John Carr and Len and wife, Rae Thiel; 15 grandchildren; many great grandchildren and great-great grandchildren.

He was preceded in death by his parents, grandson, Robert Hascall; granddaughter, Andrea Wruble; great grandson, Thomas Watson; and brother, Duane Thiel.

I guess I'm slacking,,,,

Once again I'm falling behind in my blogs. It is starting to bug me cause really its the only way for me to get my thoughts out. Not to mention its a good way to keep track of things that have happen. Not to mention sometimes i have a lot to say depending on whats going on.

We finally moved it was a fast move to. We're on the other side of the park. It's a lot nicer over here more kids for Andrew and Elizabeth to play with. Not to mention I love the house its nice we all have our own rooms and two bathrooms. To top it all off it only needs little things done to it little drywall work Ernie says it isn't a big deal at all. Of course thank you to Roberta and Terry for helping us move it really does mean a lot to us.

Ernie finally got out of retail. (Thank god!!!) He's now doing the same thing as me, today he's finishing his classes I'm very happy for him he got a 96% on his med test. From what I understand he likes it so far. I hope that its something he'll like doing its a good field to be in. But we're off to a good start with him liking it right now so that's a plus.

So not to long ago I picked up a kitten. Oh course Ernie named it. Which it's name is fitting Snicker's but it does look like a snickers bar lol. Karma likes her the kittens always grabbing her nose. It's pretty funny.

Right now I'm getting some mad hours at work. Which mainly has to do with something I did. I got a girl fired for smoking weed on the clock. That's one thing that pisses me off, What people do on their own time is them but there's no reason to being doing that at work our job isn't stressful by any means. She should have seen it coming I told her the first day I worked with her if she ever told me she was smoking weed on the clock I would file a report on her. So what does the dumb-ass do tells me she took to hits. But of course it's every ones fault but her own. When well people grown up?? So for now everyone at work likes me cause I did something none of them had the balls to and that's call and report which if i have to i'll do it again. I'm not having the people I take care of every night get hurt because someone can't wait 8hours to get home to be stupid.

Well that's pretty much it for right now I think. I promise I'll try not to wait 2 months before i post again. lol

Sorry it's been so long.....

Okay so it's been about 3 months since I posted anything at all. That's longer then I really wanted to wait. I need to get in the habit of doing my posts I got to much build up that I need to get out. Which of course my blog is my way of getting my thoughts out of my head wither their good or bad. By blog is just my escape plus a good way to be able to reflect on things later on.

Let's see where to start..... I guess old business first is a good way right??

Okay old business:

So the crazy bitch of a neighbor is still doing what she can to try to start crap. For some reason she feels the need to mow our yard. (which screws it up cause she does a really bad job and waits for weeks at a time). It's just really getting old. Her kids keep throwing their football at the house, or run around in our front yard. Which with this last time I told the oldest boy "If you hit my house with that football or anything else for that matter again from this point on I well call the cops and I well file a police report make sure your mother knows this." So far I must have gotten thru cause they haven't hit the house.

Then of course she's got a new boyfriend he's arabic. I caught the asshole looking in our windows a few times. Which is just flat out creepy. You look over and theirs this guy looking in your windows yuck! So of course we went thru the whole house and put blinds up. We're hoping that soon the park well have a three bedroom (Not holding our breath on it tho) so we can get away from her. Since it's pretty much going to be the only answer the park wont do anything about her kids hitting our house or messing with out lot even tho in the lease it says that they well take care of it if it can't be settled between the two parties. But our next step is getting a hold of the park managers boss and talking to them cause they keep giving us the run around whenever we go in to talk to them.

Now the Newer News:

I started a new job. I got hired in July 6th. I went back to a part of the field of work that I was studying in high school. I'm working third shift at an adult foster care home. I really enjoy working there, the other midnight and I get along really well. I look at the clients as my family. I'm there enough it really was bound to happen right? lol I think I'm adjusting to the hours pretty well. Some days are a little harder then others but still they aren't bad.

Ernie's been having issues at work. His store manager got canned due to her own stupidity. But of course it's everyone else fault but her own. So now there's this other manager from another store that's coming in on her power trip, and in her process of tring to fix the store she's turning it into a bigger mess. So of course Ernie's looking for a different job. I can't say that i blame him with all the crap that's going on in that store. I hope he finds something that he actually enjoys. It's stressful having a job you dont enjoy.

Well it happen Ernie let me get a dog. August 12th we picked up Karma, she's a beautiful 3 year old purebred rottweiler. From the day we picked her up she's been amazing with us. She loves the kids. Since we've gotten her we dont have a problem with the neighbor looking into the windows anymore. If we go out we have to make sure that the windows are closed and the blind are open if we can't take her with us. If we dont the blind well be broken and she well be standing on the porch when we get home. It was a learning curb the first time for us lol. Now I just have to figure out what she's having the allergic reaction to. Right now we have her on Iams so I'm not sure if it's the food or not. Time to figure it out tho. But we love her and she's mine. lol

We had a visit plus i'm venting a little...

So as a few of you know we had a visit from CPS (child protective Services) yesterday. The claim that was made was that: "The baby sitter leaves Andrew home alone." Ernie and I both looked at the caseworker like she was crazy. The case worker also informed us that she didn't even know that we had Elizabeth until Andrew told her about her. Pretty fucked up don't you think? Of course we went out to tell the case worker that Andrew nor Elizabeth is ever left home alone. That the babysitter is their grandmother and their step grandfather. Ernie's mom stays home with Elizabeth while his step father gets Andrew from the bus which he drive the truck down to pick him up so no ones in the drive way.

The case worker looked things over. Looked in the frig, told us more then enough food thats good. Looked at the kids bedrooms She seemed pleased with them as well. Then checked the other things she had to look for that we have power, gas and water, asked the question that had to be answered. In not so many words she told us that she has 30days to close the case but sees no reason to keep it open.

Yes we already know who made this bullshit call. All it shows is that she has to much time on her hands and she's childish. But on the other hand I can go around saying that my house was approved by the state as safe for children. How many people can say that uh?

 At the same time we're sure that this is just the beginning with the neighbor. Since any time she comes outside she looks in whatever window have the shades pulled back. Yesterday i gave her something to look at when i flipped her off and told her to "take a picture it would last longer." She stated to laugh and said "I got you good so fuck you."  I just think it's funny cause whatever she thinks she did she just made herself look stupid. Ernie and I take very good care of our children and our animals for that matter.

Unlike her we don't just take off and leave our kids at home. We take proper care of our animals which means letting them out more then maybe once or twice a day. We both actually drive and have vehicles so we can be responsible parents and make sure our kids get to places they need to go. It's more important to us that our kids are taken care of and a roof over their heads then me getting my nails and hair done.

I'll be so glad when we can just fucking move. It sucks cause i like the house but at the same time it is to small for us. we really do need a 3 bedroom.